It has to be PERFECT!

When I created what I call my "prototypes", I was very critical.  I would always seem to find something wrong with it.  My partner, who is very honest when it comes to critiquing, would give me good comments but I was never sure.  I never really shared them with anyone else because it wasn't up to certain standards.  It had to be "perfect".

That was one of the obstacles I dealt with.  Perfection.  I am not a perfectionist normally.  I try my best.  When it comes to baking I always try to improve, of course, but I wouldn't feel so frustrated when the baked goods didn't come out right (unlike I did with my accessories).  I don't understand why I judged myself differently.  It was important for me to create something that would last, so I would take my prototypes on test runs (I'm kind of clumsy so I knew if they lasted with me, they'd last with just about anyone).  Even if the item would pass the test run, I would still find a flaw.

Then I read about spirit beads. Not the cheer team/spirit squad ones, the Native American ones.  The beaded creations created by Native American women contained intricate patterns created by thousands of small beads.  They would, intentionally, string a bead of the wrong color into the design creating an imperfection.  It was sort of a way to recognize the imperfection of humans.  The way they saw it was that a human creating something "perfect" would be an insult to the gods who were truly perfect.

That got me thinking a lot.  Here I was, creating something with my hands and I wanted and expected it to be perfect.  Why?!?!  Where did this expectation come from exactly?  I mean, I don't ask that in any other aspect of my life, why when I'm creating?  I always say 'I do me'.  My partner and I have been told 'you guys are like that...different'.  Or 'you guys always do things your way.'   So, I gave in.  I thought, 'Nope.  Now I actually want every piece to have a slight imperfection. '  It'll just be putting a little more of me in each item.